Sounds of Silence

I was feeling "inside-y" today but finally forced myself out in the early evening for a sit. I felt the pussywillows again. My how they have grown in only three days. There is a little green leg sticking out of a couple of the bigger buds. Those must be the first shoots of spring.

When I finally got to my spot there was a little bit of light left. And There I sat for 32 minutes. The light got dimmer and dimmer as darkness enveloped the forest. My eyes' rod cells took over as the cone cells no longer remained useful; the greens and browns all faded into a grey-scale spectrum based on light and dark. I felt acutely observant to movement and sound. As the colors all but disappeared I found that I was extremely alert and prepared, though relaxed and calm.

I heard scratchings on trees or maybe in the fallen leaves. I heard wings flap overhead and head north. Even the distant freeway seemed to peter off once the night started. I heard occasional cars pulling into driveways and garages. I heard my own breath until I slowed it down to silence.

It is slightly scary going out into the dark forest to simply "be" knowing that there are predators like cougars and bears that share the same places. But it is empowering too, because I am building my comfort and confidence outside. By no means to be arrogant or foolhardy in putting myself at risk intentionally but to raise my awareness to the levels I hope it to one day reach. Gotta start somewhere. And I did :)